Honoring My Commitments

Photographer: Heather Jackson

Photographer: Heather Jackson

The season is here! I've moved out of my room in Erie, CO...I got the friend and ME time that I was looking for. Turns out Heather and I really needed each other over the past few months, funny how things work out. But now, I'm back on the road, in the van full-time and it feels pretty good. But I'm not going to talk about van life because I'm sick of hearing about it and don't want to be identified by the fact that I live in a van...this is a part of me that will change...it is not me...it is a lifestyle choice...that's it. Moving on. 

I've never been so calm in my life and I probably have the most packed schedule I have ever had. Projects, events, people, and places move in and out of my life like the ebb and flow of the ocean. This used to disorient me but now it's like I'm in the eye of the hurricane, while chaos and time spins around me quickly...I'm in the center where it's calm and quiet. The thoughts of all I have to do are still there, spinning quickly in my mind, but they rarely have bearing on my emotions. 

Really, I'm grasping at straws here on what to write about. I've made a commitment to myself to write a blog once a week...every Wednesday. I made that commitment last week and as you can see...I didn't stick with it. So even though I'm not feeling inspired to write (no scratch that, I want to write, I'm inspired to write, but I don't know what to write about)...I'm showing up...here I am....I'm writing!!!! 

It's so easy for me to honor my commitments with work but to blow off commitments I've made to myself that don't pay the bills. Seems like writing a blog on my website that maybe a handful of people read is not a valuable use of my time. But the truth is I LOVE writing and I don't do it as often as I'd like aside from my morning and evening journaling. 

So, here's the start of something...an incomprehensible rant that doesn't really have an ending...but an honoring of my commitments. This is for me, not for you...so sorry not sorry for probably wasting your time :)