The Crazy Woman

I was talking to a good friend of mine the other day about men. She had brought up a past guy she dated that tried to use the word crazy as a form of manipulation. It brought up a lot of old baggage for me. I’ve been in those relationships, and probably every woman has, where the man tries to gain power over the situation by calling me crazy. A woman who speaks her mind, who stands up for what she believes in, who wears her heart on her sleeve can often times be shoved into the “looney bin” by the male because he’s uncomfortable. It’s an easy way for him to not have to own up to his own shit or address the issue at hand. And ironically, for the woman, it is crazy making and it is also absolute bullshit.

Of course, there will always be women and men that do actually act crazy. That haven’t done the work or learned how to handle conflict or other people’s emotions. But that’s not the kind of crazy I am talking about. Being emotionally vulnerable and open is not crazy and is not the definition of crazy. Instead of taking the time to listen we’re quickly dismissed as irrational and hormonal. And you can’t blame the men really. Many have been raised to deal with emotions by ignoring them, by pushing them way down and never showing the greatest sign of “weakness”, vulnerability. But next time, when you find yourself about to utter that word, take a moment and ask yourself what it is your not willing to deal with and why?

“Stop acting crazy”, he says 
As I pour my soul into an overflowing cup 
spilling out all over the table
Us women 
We’ve heard this a dozen times in our lifetime
But  
I’m not here to yell at you 
For putting me in the container of the
Irrational hormonal woman 
No, that story is old and tired 
I’m not here to scream from the roof tops 
And say fuck the masculine 
Fuck the patriarchy
I will no longer wear your idea of “crazy” 
With shame 
With anger
But rather as a badge of honor 
Because it takes courage to be crazy 
It takes courage to be lead 
By emotion 
And not live in the container 
That someone else has built for you 
You want to know a little secret?
You call me crazy 
Because you don’t know 
Who you are 
Because you have fallen in line 
And You want me to as well
Because it makes you feel better about yourself
So, I’ll be over here being crazy 
While you’re over there being boring