It’s easy for you to tell yourself you aren’t worthy
To disappear behind your expensive wardrobe
and make yourself believe that a night out is enough to curb your craving to be anything and anywhere else.
Just one more drink and this will be the best night ever
Just one more drink and I’ll be happy
You wake up foggy, surrounded by your same four-walls or those of a stranger.
He doesn’t make you coffee
you trip up awkwardly looking for your lace black panties
and decide their not worth another second of the shame
Those are replaceable
unlike your dignity
Walking home puffy eyed you think about your number
and begin to count on one and then two hands;
This wasn’t the first time you left a piece of you behind in unfamiliar calloused hands.
But for a night he was that vacation you’ve always talked about taking
He was the roar of the river and the smell of the pine
He was the fire that warmed you while you sipped whisky
Talking into the night about the lives you use to live
and will never go back to.